A time to be born and a time to die… a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. (v. 2,4)
A few days ago, I attended a funeral for a man in the nearby village. You may be interested in how a funeral works here. I’ll explain it the best I can… The whole process lasts 3 days. The first day they bury the body. On the second day, family and friends come together and basically just sit around and mourn.
We came on the second day and brought some sugar. Our gift was announced to the mourners, and we entered the home. It was completely packed with people sitting (mostly women inside, men outside). We sat with them for an hour which seemed so long because of the cramped quarters, but to put things into perspective, they stay all day and night.
The third day is the business side of things. The community butchers a cow or goat for everyone to eat and they decide what happens to the rest of the family. They choose the “symbolic inheritor”, where young children will live, if someone is to inherit the wife, and who gets all of the deceased’s belongings.
Community plays such a huge role in this. If you do not participate in offering “pole” (which means sorry) and a gift, it is made known to everyone. Neighbors often house distant relatives, gather water for the mourners to bathe, or cook meals for everyone.
When they mourn, they don’t hold anything back. Their wailing is an eerie and haunting sound. They often grow ill or faint in the midst of a funeral from the mere strain of their grieving.
It was an eye opening insight into their culture. I was so glad I got to go, because I got a chance to understand them more. They not only share their joys and pains, but also their material possessions. Quite honestly, this is concept that is pretty foreign to the western culture. Sure, we share things to an extent, but it is nothing compared to this…
Community is everything here.
ever yours,
Em
2 comments:
I guess I have heard a little bit about funeral like this before but I cannot imagine experience something like that. Wow. The concept of grief shared in vulnerable community is amzing to think about.
Wow, how interesting about the funeral and the customs. Now you need to see a birth and you will know the whole cycle of life there better. Praying for you daily Emily, take care.
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